We don't always get our way. In fact, as we age, we get our way less and less. My last blog was full of optimism about my best friend and her expected recovery. I did not get my way. My sister for life passed away on March 28th, much too soon for her and for the rest of us.
I've taught my kids that life isn't fair. It often isn't. Carole lived a good life. Married to the love of her life, Bob. She took care of the dogs, turtles, yard, house, stray friends, family, anyone in need of a little TLC. She took good care of her body and soul. Her veins just gave out on her. This isn't fair. Why take her when the bad guys get to stay around. Life really isn't fair.
At my age it will be hard making a new best friend. I don't even know if I want to try. With Carole it came so easily. We were so alike in so many respects. And just enough unalike to make it interesting and give us something to talk about. You just can't make up all that history quickly, nor should you.
I miss her daily, hourly. I wonder when my heart will stop hurting.
Life will never be the same. It has been changed forever. I still look forward to what's coming next. It's just so hard that I can't lift up the phone and call her and tell her what it is...
Back to creating. Cutting up the cloth and sewing it back together in another way. Colors and patterns and ideas all meshing together. Each day a step in the right direction.
Carole. I miss you more than I can relate. You are in my heart forever.
Peace.
2 comments:
Oh, Robin, I'm so sorry for this terrible loss. It's a hole that can't be filled,and maybe shouldn't be. Some people....most people...just cannot be replaced. You'll have other deep friendships, but never like this one.
It hurts--take good care of yourself and remember that all your friends are holding you gently.
love to you,
Jan
Thanks Jan. And boy does it hurt.
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