How did this happen? Where was I? What have I been doing? Where have I been?
I now have an AARP card! I get discounts at the movie theater. Sometimes I'm asked if I'm old enough for the Senior Discount at the craft store. Wow! I really do not understand how my 27 year old brain is trapped in this now 60 year old body!
I look around at my home. It doesn't look like the surroundings of someone that old. It is pretty much the same as it was in college except the "stuff" is better quality. There are still art projects in various stages. There are still prints and quilts upon the walls. The furniture is much better, much more comfortable, upgraded, but still kind of the same.
Is that what happens? We just upgrade? And then what???
What is the next step, the next adventure, the next problem and solution? I don't have a "bucket list", at least not yet. Guess that is on it's way, too. I have a dear friend, Alison, who made a list on her 50th birthday (which was just this year!!!!!) with 50 things she wants to do during the year. Knowing Ali, she will achieve them. But making a list with 60 items/things/places to see in one year? That scares the crap out of me. I don't think there is enough time, so I've been thinking of maybe a list of 30 things, done twice...but that freaks me out too. So maybe 6 things done ten times?!? That might work.
Maybe I am getting old. Oh no. But isn't 50 the new 30? So that makes 60 the new 40?!? Oh no. I was just having my kids then. As much as I LOVE my kids, I really do not want to go through young mother-hood again, especially at my age!
Yes, it comes back to age. Are we really only as old as we feel? If so, some days I am very young, and others, like when a storm is moving into town and my bones are aching, I feel as old as the hills. But those are times to sit down, reflect, sip some tea and rejoice that, despite it all, you are still going, still creating, still loving and being in love...
So, as I reflect, it is OK to be getting older. I still look ok, even though there is much more of me than there use to be. And I think I'm still fun to be with. And I do keep learning new things. Just ask me about the new pattern in the Quilting Arts Gifts magazine...
So, this too will pass, and it will be ok. In fact I think it will be pretty damn good. I'm not ready to be old. Don't think I ever will be. I will just keep on learning, loving, being, trying, going, until I understand it all. Maybe then I'll be OLD.